Making & Keeping Promises

Are you known by others as someone who keeps a promise?

          The answer to that question could tell a lot about your life. The value that you place on fulfilling the promises that you make to other people, is a clear reflection on how much you value yourself. How you make and keep promises impacts every area of your life: your ability to get slim or stay slim, the quality of your romantic relationship, and the degree of prosperity in your life.When we find it too hard to keep a promise, it can be easy to rationalize our short-fall by saying, “I had too much on”, or “It’s not that important to me”…  However our efforts to keep a promise is actually an indication of how we value ourselves. ‘Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It’s our ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves, to “walk our talk.”’ Stephen R. Covey. As Covey describes, our ability to make and keep promises could be summed up in one word: Integrity. The Wikipedia defines Integrity as "...a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. The word "integrity" stems from the Latin adjective integer (whole, complete). In this context, integrity is the inner sense of "wholeness" deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such, one may judge that others "have integrity" to the extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles [promises] they claim to hold.”


Some people try to avoid the pain of not fulfilling a promise, by not making one in the first place. It would seem they have avoided the pitfall of disappointing others; however failing to make a promise likewise negates any chance of increasing your self-confidence. There is no other way to build your self-confidence (self-trust, self-esteem and self-respect) other than making promises that you fulfill.

The internal strength that comes from making promises you are sure you can and will deliver on, develops a powerful reservoir of strength and commitment. It’s common problem for many who promise themselves, ‘I’ll start eating better tomorrow’... If they do follow through on this promise, then their self-confidence grows and the new habit is easier to maintain. If you make the same promise to yourself and fail to deliver, then conversely your self-confidence is weakened your  sense of self-trust will erode. Making more difficult to follow through in the future. We all do this sometimes… Have you ever said to yourself, “I will pay Mum & Dad back that $50”, and then completely forget about it… You tell your spouse, “I will mow the lawn” but they end up hiring someone else to do it after 2 weeks, “I will pay off my credit card in 6 months”… gets side-tracked by an impromptu vacation. When we follow through on a promise, we build and strengthen our power, self-respect and self-belief. In short, we strengthen ourselves by, making promises we know we’ll keep; and  honoring every promise we make.

Steps to strengthen your ability to keep promises:

1)      Be clear on what’s most important to you for each month (week, day). Write down one clear priority every month (or more the further along you get). Taking on too much is a sure fire way to weaken your ability to follow through.

2)      Get comfortable saying ‘No’… Most people don’t like declining a request from another, we like to avoid the discomfort of saying ‘no’ and instead make an agreement that we sometimes fail to fulfill. Building your comfort around saying ‘No’ helps you avoid the latter pain of letting someone down.

3)      Record what and who you have made promises to. Keeping a record and following up with yourself, will help you stay focused and support you to follow through.

4)      When contemplating whether or not you will agree to a request from another, be clear with yourself about how much it will cost you. What investment of time, energy (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual),  and money will it take to deliver on this promise. Ask yourself if the outcome is worth committing yourself to?

5)      Start keeping promises in just one area of your life (to start with). Te area where you want to see the most improvement. E.G. Your finances, your romantic relationship, your family life, your occupation etc.

How good are you at keeping promises?

Do you keep your promises to your family members
0 - Never    3 - Rarely   5 - Sometimes   10 - Often   15 - Most Times 20 - Always

Do you keep your promises to your employer?
0 - Never    3 - Rarely   5 - Sometimes   10 - Often   15 - Most Times 20 - Always 

Do you keep your promises to yourself?
0 - Never    3 - Rarely   5 - Sometimes   10 - Often   15 - Most Times 20 - Always 

Do you keep your promises to your partner/spouse/ best friend?
0 - Never    3 - Rarely   5 - Sometimes   10 - Often   15 - Most Times 20 - Always 

Do you keep your promises with your friends?
0 - Never    3 - Rarely   5 - Sometimes   10 - Often   15 - Most Times 20 - Always 

0-15: Integrity is not very important to you. You have little regard for yourself and even less for those around you. You don’t want to rely on you; you struggle to have hope in a brighter future. You feel you have little power to create what you want, and you don’t believe you can have what you want. No one has kept promises to you, so you find it hard to care when others need to rely on you.

15-35: You struggle to follow through on your promises. Most people around you wouldn’t choose to ask you for anything, they know you don’t keep your promises. You pay the price of valuing integrity low… Not getting promotions, struggling to keep romantic relationships, and suffering financially. Take the time to ask yourself, what do you really want in life? Maybe some things aren’t important to you? Find something that is important to you, try and do your best to follow through on your commitments in this one area, and see what happens when you do.

35-65: You are able to commit and follow through sometimes; but people can find you difficult to rely on. Everything can seem to pile up on you at once and leave you unable to deliver on all of the promises you make. Simplify your load and get more comfortable saying “No”. Choose someone in your life who you want to be there for 100%; make it your priority to keep your commitments to that one person.

65-75: Integrity is important to you; you try your best to keep your commitments. You’re not always able to deliver and need to be clearer on your priorities. Your best of intentions fall flat if you don’t follow through. Only make the commitments you know you will follow through on; it’s ok to say ‘no’ to anything you think you might not be able to fulfill.
85-100: You value integrity highly, you do your very best to always deliver on the promises you make. You have moved mountains in order to deliver on a commitment, and in turn you’ve seen others stretch themselves to match your efforts.  You know that the strength of your integrity is your foundation for success in every area of your life, and you honor it with your life.


Slim to get happy, or get happy to slim

So many people assume being slim will make them happy. This underlying belief perpetuates the search for many who believe that ‘slim equals happy’. But if you’re like me and found being slimmer didn’t equate to being happier… you’re probably feeling unsure of the validity of this idea. Is happiness a by-product of our weight, or is our current weight a reflection of our happiness? What if you could get slimmer by being happier?

I had been overweight since I could remember, the pictures showed a beautiful girl who started getting chubby at 8; she continued to gain weight until she peaked at 99kg. I was never happy, and I found my unhappiness easy to blame on my weight. If I wasn’t so big I could enjoy swimming and sports... If I wasn’t so big I’d have more confidence to make friends or say what I think… If you’ve struggled with your weight, you'll also know that it can feel as though extra weight drains the goodness out of every experience… Or does it? Fast forward 5 years and I had dropped 30kg, and while I was happier with my appearance, that happiness didn’t blanket over my whole life. I felt jaded, I felt ripped-off that after shedding 30kg I was still quite miserable.

A miserable and gorgeous size 12 is nothing compared to a happy and gorgeous size 12.
When Gina's experiences concurred with mine; that every drop in her weight equated to an increase in her happiness, we both concluded the happier we are - the slimmer we become. When we focus our attention on our happiness, and actively seek to expand it, we ultimately slim easily and stay slim effortlessly. Have you met someone who believes their excess weight is the sole cause of their misery; they try so hard to lose it, that they end up gaining?

All of us have at least a portion of happiness in our lives. What if you chose to focus on this? Are you curious to see what would happen if you focused on increasing your happiness? The following 4 steps are suggestions you can use to slim easily by increasing your happiness.

Step 1) Identify the source of your current happiness.

Write down your gratitude list (start with 10 things), and remember what you focus on expands. Focus in regularly on all the reasons why you love your life, why you are blessed to be you, and why you get to feel good every day. For example your gratitude list might include: Beautiful weather, a call from a friend, an unexpected bonus, a good movie, finding a $2 coin, good teeth, weekends with family, rewarding friendships, or delicious food etc.

Step 2) Create a daily practice of focusing on what brings you joy.

Creating a habitual way of focusing on what brings you joy is the easiest way to make sure you get into the swing of it. Challenge yourself to focus on joy for one month. Weigh yourself tomorrow morning, then commit to a daily gratitude practice and see how good your results are.

Application Suggestions: a morning gratitude meditation, morning gratitude walk, singing about what you are grateful for (in the shower/car/around the house), or telling yourself why you’re grateful in your own mind.
I personally write a gratitude list every single day, as I reflect on my blessings I realise how easily I could have forgotten some of them. As I reflect and ponder upon why I’m grateful, myriads of experiences and feelings flow into my mind… A small blessing (there really are no small blessings are there), a kind deed or a special happening that may have gone unrecognised gently rises to the surface as I ask, "What am I grateful for"? Training our minds to focus on our blessings is one of the key habits of happy people (who are most often slim). This practice works universally for anyone willing to apply it. As you actively increase and seek out all of the things that bring you joy, fulfillment, peace and contentment, you’ll be welcoming more into your life.

Step 3) Contribute whatever you can to increase the happiness of others.


You definitely can’t give without receiving; and likewise you can actively turn the tides in your favour and receive more by giving. Remember, ‘what you focus on expands’. Watching others be happy will inadvertently increase your happiness as well.
Application Suggestions: donating/ sharing your time for neighbours/ co-workers/ family/ or friends. Making a genuine donation to a cause you believe in, preparing a meal for a friend or family member. Dropping off baking for someone you love etc will inadvertently increase your happiness too.

Step 4) Use words that uplift yourself and others

Listen to the words you use when you’re talking to others or yourself. The words you choose to use help to form and create the world in which you live. Actively choose words to think and say that will create more happiness for yourself and others. It’s a common mistake to try and decrease the stresses or things we don’t like in our life. But remember what you focus on expands; focus on what is stressing you… even if it’s for the sole purpose of decreasing it, and you may find it actually increases. I suggest a one month trial where you focus on everything you have that you want, that you love, that you enjoy… So many women connect slim with happy. I believe the true correlation is actually; when I’m happy, I’m slim.

Open up & receive True Love

I think we all yearn for a true genuine experience of ‘Love’ with another. There are a million billion expressions of true love; each one patiently awaiting the perfect recipient… I believe true love is always ready, willing and waiting for us to receive and enjoy its splendor. We only need to remove our internal barriers, and live in trust and hope.

Of all of the delightful and desirable experiences in life, none surpass the elevation of what is, ‘True Love’. Within the meaning of this simple phrase holds a sacred feeling we all long to know and express. I’d love to share my definition of true love, and invite you to write down your own special meaning of todays’ blog topic.

True love is the shared experience of being connected, complete, enriched and alive that grows through reciprocation.

True Love is always reciprocated… it’s wanting to spend all your time together, despite knowing you can never get enough. Your heart always knows true love (while your head can struggle to accept it), moments flow, trust, openness and reliability are mutually shared and forgiveness is extended easily.

Unfortunately after so many unsatisfying experiences on the quest for true love… you can begin to feel lost. It can seem easier to give up hope, and simply presume true love doesn’t exist, than to risk opening up to the hurt again. But eventually I believe we all continue to seek it; we are all driven to find our own expression of a love that is true.

If we use our past to try and predict the future then we become stuck in a never ending cycle of re-creating the less than glorious reflections of love… But if we use our past to learn the contrast, or what’s not of ‘true love’, then we allow ourselves to draw nearer to it with each experience. 

So, how do we unconsciously block ourselves from receiving true love: 

·        We get jealous of others in love

It’s so important to honor the love you see in others, pay attention to how they feel together… Allow yourself to feel that feeling when you see others in love.

·        We try to ‘figure out’ how to find our true love

We only try to figure out where love is when we doubt that it will come to us. Live in faith and trust that true love is coming to you.

·        We worry we aren’t good enough for our true love

Focusing on why you won’t/can’t receive love will repel love further away. Exactly as we are right now, we are worthy of the gift of true love.

·        We treat ourselves unlovingly

Expecting another to love us when we are being unloving to ourselves is like trying to swim without getting wet.

·        We wait for love (stop living and enjoying life)

When we live in desperation for love, we are feeding the fear that it will not come and actively distance ourselves from receiving it.

·        We talk about what we’ll do if we don’t find our true love

Once again imagining a future based on our fear creates a future fulfilling our fears

·        We try to make someone our ‘True Love’

True love cannot be forced, cajoled, fooled, manipulated, delayed, procrastinated, or avoided… it will come at the perfect time and is a gift that can only be received not manufactured.

Q: True love sounds too ‘fairy tale’ for me… I doubt there is any true love for me out there. 

A: It’s true that some people don’t enjoy the notion of true love, and if that’s not what you want then that’s a great thing to know about yourself. The case most often is that the true skeptics are almost always the true love die hard romantics who keep their inner most longings tucked away.

Q: What if I don’t feel ready to meet my true love?

A: Then that is great to know, remember the universe is always in perfect synchronicity. If you’re not ready, then your true love will be getting ready for you too. Trust the pause is allowing you both to develop and grow until the perfect time comes for you to meet.

Q: What if the man/woman I think is my true love, doesn’t feel the same way towards me

A: He/She is a sign post to help you acknowledge the traits and attributes you know will belong to your true love. Thank him/her and continue to open up to receive your true love. True love is always reciprocated; you will both love one another more than you ever thought was possible.

Q: What if I attract someone who is not my idea of true love?

A: Great, this is contrast, they are sent to you to help you continue to refine your idea of what your true love is for you. Get the learning and move on to receive your true love.

Affirmation Suggestions: to support you to open up and receive true love:

·        My heart will guide me to my true love

·        I trust in perfect divine timing bringing us together at exactly the right time

·        I open myself to receive true love

·        I breath in love, I exhale peace

·        I romance myself, and I fall in love with me

Week 3, Intuitive Eating Challenge for Isabelle & Lilly

Isabelle:

This week I was sent a copy of 'Shift Your Mindset' by Lysa and Gina, and I do think it has helped to get me back on track.  Although I definitely cannot honestly say I have trusted my instincts all the time in terms of eating my this week, it has been a definite improvement from last week.

I find that I am catching myself out sometimes - like I will be walking to the cupboard for a second or third biscuit and suddenly hear in my head 'Hey, I'm not hungry anymore - I should just have it later when I am hungry'.  Although this hasn't worked to deter me from the fridge every time, it has worked more of the time than it usually does!  So this is progress! I think I have become much better at only eating when I am hungry, it's the stopping when I'm satisfied that has become more of an issue!  I'm still struggling to see that whatever food is in front of me is not going anywhere, and I could have it later, but I am definitely acknowledging the fact now, and saying this to myself so that I can at least resist for awhile longer than usual!  

The next few weeks will be interesting - university has finished for the semester and I won't be in the usual routine while studying for exams, so I'm hoping I don't fall into old habits and don't think of food as a distraction / procrastination technique!  I'm going to work really hard to focus on stopping when I am full, and maintaining the smaller portion sizes because I do think that this really helps me psychologically.  I've never really been one for seconds but finishing what is on my plate (when my eyes were always too big for my stomach) left me stuffing myself to the brim.  

This week, I am pleased to announce that I have lost another 300g - so I am down to 77.5.  Not a big loss, but a loss all the same!

Lilly:

The 3 principles are simple and straightforward but they require a massive shift in thinking. I realised this during the week that I’d left dieting behind when 2 friends wanted to tell me how many calories they had consumed that day and my reaction was to stare at them as if they were crazy.

However, it became evident to me there are two mental aspects still holding me back. What’s with my emotional attachment to the scale? And why do I still willingly choose to overeat or justify food, especially junk food, when I’m not feeling like it? 

Deep down, I’ve forgotten reality. I’ve adopted a ‘greediness’ approach to life without a job, but it doesn’t make sense. How does eating more now help me for later, when I’m hungry and have no food? It means I spend more money purchasing food. I’m no Einstein but that seems illogical. 

However, on a pleasing note, this week as ‘weigh day’ approached I noticed that the numbers didn’t matter to me anymore. That felt very liberating.

One down, one to go. 

103

Week 2, Intuitive Eating Challenge for Isabelle & Lilly

Isabelle

This week has been a trying week - for some reason I still can't get my head around only eating when I'm hungry!  I have a  terrible fear of missing out when it comes to food, no matter whether I am hungry, or have already eaten enough in that particular sitting, I find it extremely difficult to say 'no'. 

This week I have been trying to go a little smaller in my portion sizes, because I know I often struggle to finish my meals - my eyes are constantly bigger than my stomach but just can't seem to leave anything on my plate!  I figure at least this way, if I have less on my plate and can't leave anything, it's better than having a larger meal to try to complete!  I have discovered that I don't tend to be hungry in the mornings - so don't really have breakfast unless it's a small snack. I can wait until mid-morning quite easily so am really trying to focus on obeying my body.

Unfortunately, this week my weight has stayed the same (but at least it didn't go up!) but at least I know where I have gone wrong.  STOP emotional eating!  My new mantra has to be - (insert food item I am craving here) is not going anywhere if you don't eat it right now!  I am not hungry that often, so I need to pay attention and listen to my body in all it's glory.

Looking forward to re-focussing this week and paying attention to my body!

Weight: 77.8kg

  

Lilly

This week was quite difficult and I felt as if I completely lost my connection to myself and food. Suddenly hunger and satiety were foreign to me. I was placed in unfamiliar situations and I found myself giving in to old habits. Sometimes I am amazed at how I can just mindlessly give up responsibility for my choices. My first excuse for overeating was that the blog was making my journey public and thus putting pressure on me. Second excuse? I’m sick. I need to eat all these things to help fight off the cold. I feel so bad, I can’t even tell if I’m hungry. 

Why do I lie to myself? Basically, my issue was, and always is that I don’t trust myself and I don’t trust the world or God to help me in difficult situations. Yet, the truth is, and I have seen it happen before, we are all given to know exactly what to do and when to do it. As it is always repeated to me: you need to let go. This week will be about trusting myself and God (the universe, if you prefer) completely.

Weight: 103.5

Tragedies, trials, and tough times...

               None of us seem to be able to escape them. Sometimes just one experience can affect us for a lifetime, while some just find that the difficulties in between life’s sun shiny days are getting more and more frequent…  We’ve all had experiences we wish we could have avoided; that we wish never came our way… There are times I wished the earth would have opened up and swallowed me whole; it probably would’ve been less painful. 

              

               Alas there is no immunity. And while we sometimes get the fleeting feeling that our own plight pales in comparison to the challenges of another… It’s way too big of a stretch to honestly say that we could feel blessed to be in our situation... I often felt deep down (in a way you can’t even tell yourself) that no one had it harder than me… That life had made a mistake choosing me to be the bearer of this unwelcomed experience.  Sometimes when I was listening to someone talk about their current difficulties I would almost felt like stealing the show… stepping out onto stage, squinting into the bright lights, signaling the background music and telling my own sore tale… OK so maybe I was a bit little dramatic back then… lol Maybe I am a bit dramatic now…

             

But now I know that we’ve all experienced things, we once believed were impossible to endure. Hemingway shares “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” Looking back on your own challenges from the past could you think of ways that it has made you stronger…

   

My 18 year struggle with food and weight has given me my purpose, mission and passion. Without my own struggle I wouldn’t have learned so much about myself. Overcoming those unproductive behaviors has given me freedom! Was it worth it – Absolutely! Did I think so at the time… Hell NO! The further I get from that time… the more I’m able appreciate it ♥ I love this quote from Iyanla Vanzant, "Sometimes you have to lose everything in order to gain yourself." And thanks heavens I have me ♥ So whatever your current situation, know that it can make you stronger, it could be a future blessing for you or maybe it’s just to help you find yourself!

I’ll leave you with this one from Byron Katie,  “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do."

The Power of Self-Love and living with authenticity

Anna (not her real name) has been a People Pleaser for years. After going through two abusive relationships, she became intensely passionate about helping other women break free from abuse. She has spent much of her time, energy and vitality extending her hand to other women, so much so that her own health and well being has suffered. Now after many years of service to others, she has reached a new conclusion. The most important person to help and save first, is yourself. 

No amount of giving, service and kindness to others can ever help ourselves heal unless we first extend that gift of love and compassion to ourselves.

No matter how pure our intentions are to help and bless others, when we turn our backs on ourselves and neglect our deepest needs, we fall short of being able to truly give anything of real value to those around us.

Anna has decided to take time for herself, she shared… “I’m just going to be with me for a while”. After years of giving her time, energy and love she has realised that the one who needed it the most was with her all along.

Something special happens when you’re in the company of someone who is self-loving, self-accepting, and lives with authenticity. You can feel their power and how it also extends to your own soul and that of others a matching sense of peace, joy and love.

Authenticity is about developing an honest and loving relationship with who you really are. Not the person you wish you were, not the person you tried to mold yourself into, not even the person others tried to convince you that you were.

Allowing the fabricated concept of ourselves to fall away, allows us to finally perceive the real truth of who we are. To connect and embrace the ofttimes uncomfortable duality of our own raw true self. The sinful and pure nature we all own; our intelligence and stupidity, our generosity and greed… No excuses, no denial… just a comfort with the paradox of being everything and nothing all at the same time.

 When we take the courageous leap to simply accept and love ourselves unconditionally we have given the most powerful gifts available to all of humanity - the gifts of self-love and authenticity.

Overcoming Self sabotage

Things are going great, you’re sticking to the principles, eating only when you’re hungry, stopping when you’re satisfied and you are really enjoying the freedom to eat all foods! And… you’ve lost 3kg in the last 2 weeks – this is incredible!

Then you:

a)      Overeat at one meal and curse yourself for having no willpower

b)      Start thinking this is all a bit too easy, isn’t weight loss supposed to be hard?

c)       Get stressed, angry, sad…whatever emotion has sent you running to the cupboards before and think, here I go again I’m so weak!

d)      All of the above

Your excess weight is not a physical reflection of your weakness, lack of willpower or consistent failings. It is a reflection of how you feel about yourself on the inside and how you talk to yourself. 

For some distorted reason we think that making ourselves feel bad will lead to making ourselves slim..well that’s a lie.

The truth is that practicing unyielding compassion for yourself and giving unconditional love to yourself are key ways out of self sabotage…No, not putting padlocks on the fridge ladies, not asking hubby to tell you off as you reach for the last Tim Tam! Those are just ways to beat yourself up for being, weak, a failure and not able to be trusted! 

Instead of choosing self sabotage today choose to be:

a)      Self supportive

b)      Self loving

c)       Self compassionate

d)      All of the above

What will you choose?

Principle Two - Only Eat When You're Physically Hungry

I woke up this morning; looked at the clock and yep it was breakfast time, so I thought about what I wanted to eat. Maybe some toast with jam or peanut butter, a hot cross bun or two, pancakes perhaps?  Thinking about food I felt the desire to eat; I could even imagine how those foods would taste…yum!

Then I did something many of us (particularly if we struggle with excess weight) have lost touch with doing… I took a moment to check in with my body to ask whether it was hungry or not.  Was I feeling a physical sensation in the area of my stomach?  Um…that would be no. 

I used to struggle with my weight. I was a binge eater, I ate in secret in my room and after eating too much I would try and starve myself to ‘balance’ things out. I was fat, frustrated and miserable.  That was also 10 years ago, and now I am slim. Now I chose to eat like naturally slim people do, and as I believe nature intends for us.  I eat intuitively by listening to and trusting my body to guide me on when, what and how much to eat…

The first principle we teach on the pathway to intuitive eating is to ‘Only Eat When You’re Physically Hungry’.

So why is this important? 

 

Hunger is the physical sensation of desiring to eat food. It is a natural, normal signal that tells our bodies we're getting low on energy and it’s time to refuel. If we eat when we’re physically hungry, our bodies are ready to process and use that energy. Eating when we’re not hungry signals our bodies to store the excess energy as fat.

In our ‘Intuitive Eating’ workshops we often ask people to put up their hands if they felt physical hunger today.  Usually about 20% of the room raise their hands, the rest look about sheepishly to see where they fit in with the group.

In our culture it has become ‘normal’ to eat 3 meals a day, about 8am, 12pm and 6pm sometimes with snacks in between, sometimes not. Instead of using our internal cues to know when to nourish ourselves we are using external cues to guide us. This is leading us to struggle with excess weight and obesity.

So how do I get started?

You need to know what they physical sensation of hunger feels like for you and you need to wait to feel it before you eat.

What does hunger feel like?

Many people describe it as an empty feeling, a gnawing in the stomach, a grumbling or rumbling sensation. Sometimes you can actually hear your stomach ‘growl’. Whatever it is for you, if you haven’t felt it in some time you’ll need to stop eating and wait until you can discern it. This may mean starting the day by skipping breakfast, possibly even lunch too. We’re had women go a whole day just drinking water until they felt true physical hunger. Trust that you’re body will provide a signal and when it does it’s time to eat.

So you’re going to give this a try? Great, you’re on your way to eating like a naturally slim person.  

But…,there are two more guiding principles that you need to know about and practice to be a true intuitive eater.

They are:

2.       Stop eating when you’re satisfied 

3.       Eat anything you’re body truly wants to eat

Next week we’ll talk more about Principle 2.

The need for balance

Do you save too much money, only to end up spending too much…?

Do you clean your house completely or leave it until the mess is overwhelming…?

Have you pushed yourself through 5 days of exercise only to take the next whole week (month) off?

          Do you fall into patterns of ‘All or Nothing’? The All or Nothing can strike in a wide variety of areas in your life. The appeal of the All or Nothing comes from the idea that a great deal of time, energy and effort invested, can yield remarkable results. And when we consider what we can accomplish when we use the all or nothing in our own lives, it certainly does deliver results… True!

 

          Nevertheless it also drains, tires and wears us out. 

          Because of the results this strategy delivers, it can be easy to become trapped in its draining effects.

Becoming aware of the reality of the full effects of the All or Nothing is the first step in breaking free from it. We have power to change when we remember that when we put our all into something, at some point the backlash will require that we swing the other way and give nothing to it as well.

          Balance, variety and temperance are the key words that can help us navigate away from extremes and off towards the ease of moderation. Not only is moderation more easy on your energy levels, it is also more sustainable. And when it comes to the habits that foster weight-loss results, we only want what will be sustainable and enjoyable.

Suggested Affirmations:

“I trust consistency to move me forward”

“I live in ease”

“I flow gently”

“I live in balance and peace”

“I walk the middle road”

“I see what I want, and trust I will get there”

“With small and simple things, great things come to pass”

Quotes:

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." Confucius

"We’re too distracted with the “doingness” of our daily lives, so we take the easiest, most accustomed route of the path of least resistance, even if it leads us somewhere we don’t really want to go." Debbie Ford

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." Anthony Robbins

Does our inner world reflect our outter world or Does our outter world reflect our inner world?

It’s often said that a dog reflects their owner… Or is the other way around? Like attracts like… What about our home? Does your home reflect you…? Or more importantly does your home reflect your state of your mind?

When I first started wanting to clean up my mind, I found the work quite difficult. I noticed when I felt like a mess in my head… my room looked like a mess too. Likewise when my room was orderly, clean and clear my mind reflected the same condition.

So, instead of trying to discover whether it was the chicken or the egg that came first; how could we use this awareness of the link between the state of our mind and our room/house to support us in maintaining a clear, orderly state of mind?

Use your room/ house as an awareness tool. If you notice your room/ house is messy… Use is as an opportunity to go inside and become more aware of your state of mind. The same goes that if you know your mind is not orderly, and you’re finding it difficult to change; you can always start ordering your room/ kitchen/ house. Observe how cleaning your environment and creating an orderly space simultaneously creates a clean and orderly state of mind.

I've become a big believer in Feng Shui. Feng Shui is about creating order, balance and beauty in our surrounding environment. It asks you to surround yourself with things that bring you joy, peace and happiness (or whatever you want... they are the things I love surrounding myself with). 

If there is anything:

1)      broken

2)      unused for the past year 

3)      or that doesn’t bring you joy 

Throw it away, give it away, sell it or donate it. Get it out of your environment.

I’ve noticed a parallel over the years by observing the homes and minds of close friends and family. Here are a few of my observations:

A: Those who hoard stuff from the past, also live in memories from the past

B: Those who get rid of what they don’t need now live more in the present

C: Those who keep broken unused objects find it difficult to get at what they do need in the moment.

D: Those who throw away what is broken, unused or unloved receive what is right, useful and pleasing into their lives.