Tragedies, trials, and tough times...

               None of us seem to be able to escape them. Sometimes just one experience can affect us for a lifetime, while some just find that the difficulties in between life’s sun shiny days are getting more and more frequent…  We’ve all had experiences we wish we could have avoided; that we wish never came our way… There are times I wished the earth would have opened up and swallowed me whole; it probably would’ve been less painful. 

              

               Alas there is no immunity. And while we sometimes get the fleeting feeling that our own plight pales in comparison to the challenges of another… It’s way too big of a stretch to honestly say that we could feel blessed to be in our situation... I often felt deep down (in a way you can’t even tell yourself) that no one had it harder than me… That life had made a mistake choosing me to be the bearer of this unwelcomed experience.  Sometimes when I was listening to someone talk about their current difficulties I would almost felt like stealing the show… stepping out onto stage, squinting into the bright lights, signaling the background music and telling my own sore tale… OK so maybe I was a bit little dramatic back then… lol Maybe I am a bit dramatic now…

             

But now I know that we’ve all experienced things, we once believed were impossible to endure. Hemingway shares “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” Looking back on your own challenges from the past could you think of ways that it has made you stronger…

   

My 18 year struggle with food and weight has given me my purpose, mission and passion. Without my own struggle I wouldn’t have learned so much about myself. Overcoming those unproductive behaviors has given me freedom! Was it worth it – Absolutely! Did I think so at the time… Hell NO! The further I get from that time… the more I’m able appreciate it ♥ I love this quote from Iyanla Vanzant, "Sometimes you have to lose everything in order to gain yourself." And thanks heavens I have me ♥ So whatever your current situation, know that it can make you stronger, it could be a future blessing for you or maybe it’s just to help you find yourself!

I’ll leave you with this one from Byron Katie,  “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do."

Achieving goals by themselves will never make us happy; it's who you become that gives you the most fulfillment.

To wrap up our recent focus on goals, I’d like to conclude with this final blog:

I’ve always been someone who likes to achieve, someone who enjoys the satisfaction of accomplishment. However each time I set a goal and saw it fulfilled… the moment would not linger long until I was set upon another goal… years went by and anything I had said to myself that I wanted to achieve had been achieved… and yet where was the fulfillment? I felt ripped-off… Like something was lacking…

Aren’t we taught that goal achievement and success/fulfillment come hand in hand? So why didn’t I feel successful/fulfilled?

Have you ever set yourself a goal, achieved it and felt great for a time… but found the achievement falling short of the lasting satisfaction you thought it would bring?

I’ve heard this a lot in weight-loss… women can spend years wanting to lose weight… they finally get there… only to realize that it doesn’t hit the spot? This problem is so endemic in the weight-loss field. I’ve spoken with women who are so disappointed that losing weight alone didn’t satisfy them, that they simply put it all back on… But alas that doesn’t fix the problem either.

 I’ve found that fulfillment is not in the achieving of goals per se… It’s in becoming the person who accomplished them. One goal will never hit the spot, it’s an attitude and confidence of knowing that you can obtain, achieve and find anything that your heart truly desires that is the real source of satisfaction. Living life with a belief in your own personal power and capacity to achieve/overcome anything could well be the ‘holy grail’ we all seek?

Anthony Robbins puts its best, “Goals are a means to an end, not the ultimate purpose of our lives. They are simply a tool to concentrate our focus and move us in a direction. The only reason we really pursue goals is to cause ourselves to expand and grow. Achieving goals by themselves will never make us happy in the long term; it's who you become, as you overcome the obstacles necessary to achieve your goals, that can give you the deepest and most long-lasting sense of fulfillment.” 

So, go on set your goals, achieve them… and grow and expand yourself in the process. Continue to stretch yourself to new horizons, new perceptions of yourself and life, see what there is to see and dare to want to see more.