‘Lasting Motivation’ The real holy grail…

I’m incredibly curious, I believe that successful strategies are only ever a few minor tweaks away. After years of being stuck in a ballooning body (peaking at 99kg/ a size 20), I now find joy and excitement in contemplating what small adjustments could easily shift me toward my goals. 

Of course it wasn’t always this way for me. I would ignore my failures, and suppress any awareness of my mistakes and be trapped and tricked into perpetuate them over and over again. Yes, I was ‘insane’… I did the same thing over and over and yet expected a different result – every time... Now after receiving the body, life, husband, family, business and career of my dreams… I have an insatiable appetite for uncovering the slight adjustments that make all the difference to helping myself and others to achieve our goals.

There are two ways that we all motivate ourselves. One burns us out and leaves us falling short of the mark… and the other is enduring and sustainable… After 8yrs of experience in weight-loss, having helped hundreds of others to lose weight, having shifted 30kg myself and having stayed slim for over 6 years… I’ve been blessed to identify a trend that is replayed over and over by countless thousands...

It’s trying to make change for others. Trying to take action or make change for your partner, children, lover, parent, Doctor etc. External motivation is changing for someone else. It starts out feeling pretty good… we get heaps done, fly around like a rocket, accomplish some fast wins… start feeling really proud of ourselves and then THUD, you wind up crashing and burning… You come down in a heap, and no matter how you fight it you can’t overcome the fatigue and exhaustion. External Motivation is simply unsustainable! 

Motivation simply means ‘why we do what we do’. It’s a powerful feeling. It prompts us to take action, it’s the feeling that we really want to do something or make change. But we need to remember that there are two styles of motivation. External motivation, which is hot and fiery and Internal motivation; which is feeling prompted to take action for your own self-interest. It’s about doing something because you care about you; because you want yourself to be happy, because you know how much calmer/joyous/simple or enriched your life will be if you choose to take this action/ make change. 

Seems pretty simple right… Try to do it for others and your steam will run out fast… You’ll lack sufficient follow through to create any lasting results. Or do it for yourself and stay consistent, and sure enough in time the results show up and you enjoy the process so much that you still keep going. Obviously right now, your probably realizing that internal motivation is the holy grail of lasting change. 

 

So ask yourself right now, what do I truly want most right now? Disregard any supposed limitation… If you could receive anything you truly desired what would it be? Write it down/ say it out loud now:

My deepest desire is: …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Great, well done. Now I want you to write down the 3 most powerful internal (you-focused) reasons why you want this (Reasons why it will directly benefit you personally):

1)

2)

3)

Now, how are you feeling? Can you feel that surge of power and energy inside, the light that has gone on, you have a sense of purpose and intention. This is what we are made for; to acknowledge our deepest desires, and to know why we truly want them, and then to go out and do whatever needs to be done to receive it/them/that.

Week 5, Intuitive Eating Challenge for Isabelle & Lilly

Isabelle

This week has been a bit up and down, I've had some really, really good days and some really really bad days.  Today for example, was one of those bad days.  I was all on my own at home, had no study or work to do so had a great lazy day just watching movies and doing nothing of value.  I went to the supermarket and got myself a few treats, which ideally should last the week, except, they haven't.  I wasn't hungry, but I was bored, there was no one to witness me being a piggy and there is something about tim tams that i just can't say no to.  So that's the whole pack gone, along with heaps more food that I wasn't hungry for, or craving, it was just there and for some reason self control and reasoning didn't kick in.  But now the guilt has kicked in, knowing i've let myself down and I'm actually feeling pretty sick since all that food too!  But I also need to remind myself that tomorrow is another day, and there is no point dwelling on today.  It's been a good reminder - the guilt and sick feeling really isn't worth gorging myself.

I know my cues, I know when I'm hungry and when I can stop eating, I just need to remember to acknowledge that instead of ignoring it.

Unfortunately, I have put on 200g this week but this little reminder to pay attention to my feelings has been beneficial!

Lilly
 

This has been mostly a good week however, there's been some anxiety and a feeling of not fitting in. I have found that I am applying reframing to many situations, but not really my food. This is because food is becoming more and more neutral.  Instead of feeling bad about something, remedying by eating too much and then focussing all my negativity and guilt on my weight and ‘eating problems’ I have begun to be conscious of my emotions and separately conscious of eating, even if I choose to have a little too much. I have spent years and years speaking harshly to myself for overeating rather than being kind to myself because I feel down about something and for once in my life, my emotions and my food are mostly separated. Of course I have fallen over a couple of times and tried to drown this week’s issues with food, but there is no despair or helplessness in this. In fact, I have never felt happier and more in control. Even when I feel impatient and down about the time that it will take to reach my ideal weight, I can look and see that I am already about ¼ of the way there. I am feeling more and more freedom with food and it is literally liberating me in all aspects of my life. 

101 yay!

Week 4, Intuitive Eating Challenge for Isabelle & Lilly

Isabelle

I would say this has been a good week.  I'm feeling much more in touch with myself, in terms of my hunger and emotions.  I've been trying really hard to focus on my hunger and satiety this week, and it's worked!  I've definitely eaten less this week, and when I've had the feelings of 'I just want to eat' I have managed to put them aside and distract myself with other things until I am actually hungry, which for me, is a pretty big deal!

I've had all the so called 'bad foods' that I tried to avoid before, but just in smaller quantities than I may have indulged in previously, and for instance last night got thai takeaways for dinner only to find I didn't need much of it to feel satisfied, so put the rest in the fridge and finished it for lunch today, when before I would have eaten it all, just because it was there. 

I'm feeling a lot more positive about the process, just hoping I can really stay on track and watch the weight fall off!

This week, I have lost another 600g :-) I'm now 76.9kg

Lilly

I am really beginning to feel free. I am not perfect in following the 3 principles, but I no longer beat myself up; my success each day does not rely on an accounting of how ‘good’ I was and how hard I worked out. It’s actually been 3 weeks since I participated in structured exercise, 3 weeks since I monitored my every choice regarding food. It is lovely to simply realise you are hungry and simply eat something delicious.

Regarding my emotional eating, I am beginning a new process this week. I have heard some wonderful things said about how new lives, new opportunities and great joy involve a great deal of risk and faith. Right now, I can only see one step in front of me. It’s a challenge for such a control freak, and I sometimes turn to food to feel that sense of control. It’s like having a best friend. She says she knows what I need. She’s been so embracing, warm and comfortable, but now she holds me back. She’s fearful and doesn’t want me to change. 

 

This week, I am saying goodbye to my destructive best friend: my ‘fat chick’ alter ego. She needs to move out.

I've just moved, and haven't had access to any scales this week... So it will be interesting to see what my results are next week. 

The need for balance

Do you save too much money, only to end up spending too much…?

Do you clean your house completely or leave it until the mess is overwhelming…?

Have you pushed yourself through 5 days of exercise only to take the next whole week (month) off?

          Do you fall into patterns of ‘All or Nothing’? The All or Nothing can strike in a wide variety of areas in your life. The appeal of the All or Nothing comes from the idea that a great deal of time, energy and effort invested, can yield remarkable results. And when we consider what we can accomplish when we use the all or nothing in our own lives, it certainly does deliver results… True!

 

          Nevertheless it also drains, tires and wears us out. 

          Because of the results this strategy delivers, it can be easy to become trapped in its draining effects.

Becoming aware of the reality of the full effects of the All or Nothing is the first step in breaking free from it. We have power to change when we remember that when we put our all into something, at some point the backlash will require that we swing the other way and give nothing to it as well.

          Balance, variety and temperance are the key words that can help us navigate away from extremes and off towards the ease of moderation. Not only is moderation more easy on your energy levels, it is also more sustainable. And when it comes to the habits that foster weight-loss results, we only want what will be sustainable and enjoyable.

Suggested Affirmations:

“I trust consistency to move me forward”

“I live in ease”

“I flow gently”

“I live in balance and peace”

“I walk the middle road”

“I see what I want, and trust I will get there”

“With small and simple things, great things come to pass”

Quotes:

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." Confucius

"We’re too distracted with the “doingness” of our daily lives, so we take the easiest, most accustomed route of the path of least resistance, even if it leads us somewhere we don’t really want to go." Debbie Ford

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." Anthony Robbins

Does our inner world reflect our outter world or Does our outter world reflect our inner world?

It’s often said that a dog reflects their owner… Or is the other way around? Like attracts like… What about our home? Does your home reflect you…? Or more importantly does your home reflect your state of your mind?

When I first started wanting to clean up my mind, I found the work quite difficult. I noticed when I felt like a mess in my head… my room looked like a mess too. Likewise when my room was orderly, clean and clear my mind reflected the same condition.

So, instead of trying to discover whether it was the chicken or the egg that came first; how could we use this awareness of the link between the state of our mind and our room/house to support us in maintaining a clear, orderly state of mind?

Use your room/ house as an awareness tool. If you notice your room/ house is messy… Use is as an opportunity to go inside and become more aware of your state of mind. The same goes that if you know your mind is not orderly, and you’re finding it difficult to change; you can always start ordering your room/ kitchen/ house. Observe how cleaning your environment and creating an orderly space simultaneously creates a clean and orderly state of mind.

I've become a big believer in Feng Shui. Feng Shui is about creating order, balance and beauty in our surrounding environment. It asks you to surround yourself with things that bring you joy, peace and happiness (or whatever you want... they are the things I love surrounding myself with). 

If there is anything:

1)      broken

2)      unused for the past year 

3)      or that doesn’t bring you joy 

Throw it away, give it away, sell it or donate it. Get it out of your environment.

I’ve noticed a parallel over the years by observing the homes and minds of close friends and family. Here are a few of my observations:

A: Those who hoard stuff from the past, also live in memories from the past

B: Those who get rid of what they don’t need now live more in the present

C: Those who keep broken unused objects find it difficult to get at what they do need in the moment.

D: Those who throw away what is broken, unused or unloved receive what is right, useful and pleasing into their lives.