The Greatest Gift: Know yourself, Love yourself!

As I reflect on the greatest gifts I've received... I acknowledge the experience of struggling with my weight for some 13 years has been one of my greatest. Admittedly I would not have agreed back in that time. It's easy to hate on your own excess weight. It's easy to think it doesn't belong, that it's out of place... a mistake... a hindrance. I can see now that my cocoon was a protection, albeit an unappealing one. It was the consequence of my strategies in life, or my perspective on life. I never intended to gain weight... I don't think anyone ever does... nevertheless it is a by-product of other stresses, responses and fears of that time in my life. Now as I look back I can see what my weight symbolised for me: My fear, my lack of awareness, my insecurities, my distrust of life in general... 

One thing I wished I had realised back then is that Fat was an extension of me... it was me. When I hated my fat... I was only hating on myself. At the heart of excess weight is unhappiness in some way or many ways. One segment of your life, multiple segments or everything in general. It's easy to think that we are unhappy because of the excess weight, instead of seeing that the excess weight is merely a symptom of deeper underlying unhappiness. So instead of trying to change the symptom - The excess weight... What if you could go straight to the heart of it - To the true cause...?  What are you unhappy about? Are you willing to engage with the real pain and let go of the external struggle with your weight. It's not food... it's the pain you want to ignore that is causing you to eat more than you require. See past the illusion... address the cause, and watch the weight melt away.

Gina and I love and appreciate the days that we struggled with our weight, it was the vehicle of self-discovery that has blessed us more than we could imagine. Going inside ourselves, discovering our fears, joys and gifts has been deeply liberating. Making peace with who we really are... beginning to trust ourselves and respect ourselves has felt amazing!  We know that truly and deeply loving yourself is the only way out. I'll share with you a letter I once write myself... to remind myself of the precious truths I now see:

Dear Lysy,

For years you hid from your light, unsure of yourself… masking your gifts with mundane pre-occupations. Years of longing and jealousy… years observing others… Feeling unknown and alone… separate and worthless…

Your situation was designed perfectly to teach you compassion, forgiveness and love. Your wise perfectly appointed teachers played their roles as divinely agreed; to serve the great task of refining you.

Tumbling through the seas, waves tossed you to and fro… removing all the sharp edges to reveal you soft and smooth. You know yourself. You trust yourself. You’ve come so far, continue on… Be true, step forth and shine.

From Lysy

I hope this message may somehow apply to you too. May you also remember that - You’ve come so far, continue on… Be true, step forth and shine.

Does weight-loss have to be a struggle?

 

We’ve all struggled with our weight. Feeling like it’s a difficult process is extremely common in our field.  Gina and I felt that way for so long, and it wasn’t until we took charge of how we were thinking that we were able to change.

How can you take charge of how you’re thinking about weight-loss?

Write down the top three things that come to your mind when you think of weight-loss:

1)

2)

3)

Now look at these answers. If someone else thought and felt this way about weight-loss, would they be getting any results? What you get is what you expect! So, you may as well expect what you want then? 

However we choose to see the situation is exactly how we see it. How we choose to talk about our experience actually defines our experience.

If you have been unconsciously viewing your slimming process as a struggle, realize all the pictures and expressions you use in your mind and speech are making this come true for you. Consider what difference it could make it you used more supportive images and words which would help it feel like a slim healthy vital person?

Some suggestions for new thoughts/ metaphors around weight-loss include:

•  I’m going to allow my excess weight to melt away, as easy as the snowcapped mountains melting in spring. 
•  Just like when I first learned to drive I concentrate on eating only when I’m hungry and soon it will be habitual and I’ll have slimmed easily in the process. 
• With the excited anticipation of a count down to an exciting event, each kilo vanishes as quickly as each week. Steadily and surely my day will come.

Go on, do something different. Gina and I always believe that the proof is in the pudding… What if you believed that weight-loss could be easy and focused on that thought everyday really believing it for a month… What could happen for you? It’s only after our clients learn to change their thinking around weight-loss, continually re-enforce the new belief and act from a knowing that it is true for them (even if that can’t fully comprehend it in the moment) that they see easy results. Is it worth a try for you?

Has dieting failed you too?

          Dieting failed us, and we believe that dieting actually fails everyone inevitably. The promises it offers are appealing in the moment, but the results are fleeting. We did that bold thing that many of us long to do… we abandoned dieting forever! Yep, we promised ourselves, that we would never diet again.

          

          They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Yet time and time again women go back to dieting, back to the only way they know they can lose weight. The problem with dieting is that it does deliver weight-loss; if you can stick to it. And once you have forced yourself and struggled for long enough to ‘stick with it’ you are faced with the glaring reality that in order to stay at your goal you have to keep at the same struggle.

          

           We knew that dieting wouldn’t help us to stay slim in the long run, so it ceased to be appealing to us. But the obvious question arises, if you’re not dieting then what? We made the bold decision to move the goal post to our true desires and said, ‘Not only do we want to slim; but we want to be able to enjoy the process of slimming, while eating any type of food we like AND know how to stay slim as well.’

           Were we asking too much? Is it even possible? No, it's not asking to much, it's what we all deserve! And Yes it's totally possible once you have the right mindset. Gina and I now eat everyday in a way that allows us to enjoy all foods, and yet stay slim and happy with ourselves in the process. We learned how to eat like naturally slim people! We now devote ourselves to helping other women who want to accomplish the same.