As I reflect on the greatest gifts I've received... I acknowledge the experience of struggling with my weight for some 13 years has been one of my greatest. Admittedly I would not have agreed back in that time. It's easy to hate on your own excess weight. It's easy to think it doesn't belong, that it's out of place... a mistake... a hindrance. I can see now that my cocoon was a protection, albeit an unappealing one. It was the consequence of my strategies in life, or my perspective on life. I never intended to gain weight... I don't think anyone ever does... nevertheless it is a by-product of other stresses, responses and fears of that time in my life. Now as I look back I can see what my weight symbolised for me: My fear, my lack of awareness, my insecurities, my distrust of life in general...
One thing I wished I had realised back then is that Fat was an extension of me... it was me. When I hated my fat... I was only hating on myself. At the heart of excess weight is unhappiness in some way or many ways. One segment of your life, multiple segments or everything in general. It's easy to think that we are unhappy because of the excess weight, instead of seeing that the excess weight is merely a symptom of deeper underlying unhappiness. So instead of trying to change the symptom - The excess weight... What if you could go straight to the heart of it - To the true cause...? What are you unhappy about? Are you willing to engage with the real pain and let go of the external struggle with your weight. It's not food... it's the pain you want to ignore that is causing you to eat more than you require. See past the illusion... address the cause, and watch the weight melt away.
Gina and I love and appreciate the days that we struggled with our weight, it was the vehicle of self-discovery that has blessed us more than we could imagine. Going inside ourselves, discovering our fears, joys and gifts has been deeply liberating. Making peace with who we really are... beginning to trust ourselves and respect ourselves has felt amazing! We know that truly and deeply loving yourself is the only way out. I'll share with you a letter I once write myself... to remind myself of the precious truths I now see:
Dear Lysy,
For years you hid from your light, unsure of yourself… masking your gifts with mundane pre-occupations. Years of longing and jealousy… years observing others… Feeling unknown and alone… separate and worthless…
Your situation was designed perfectly to teach you compassion, forgiveness and love. Your wise perfectly appointed teachers played their roles as divinely agreed; to serve the great task of refining you.
Tumbling through the seas, waves tossed you to and fro… removing all the sharp edges to reveal you soft and smooth. You know yourself. You trust yourself. You’ve come so far, continue on… Be true, step forth and shine.
From Lysy
I hope this message may somehow apply to you too. May you also remember that - You’ve come so far, continue on… Be true, step forth and shine.
No comments:
Post a Comment