Are you known by others as someone who keeps a promise?
The answer to that question could tell a lot about your life. The value
that you place on fulfilling the promises that you make to other people,
is a clear reflection on how much you value yourself. How you make and
keep promises impacts every area of your life: your ability to get slim
or stay slim, the quality of your romantic relationship, and the degree
of prosperity in your life.When we find it too hard to keep a promise, it can be easy to
rationalize our short-fall by saying, “I had too much on”, or “It’s not
that important to me”… However our efforts to keep a promise is
actually an indication of how we value ourselves. ‘Integrity is,
fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It’s our ability to make
and keep commitments to ourselves, to “walk our talk.”’ Stephen R.
Covey. As Covey describes, our ability to make and keep promises could be
summed up in one word: Integrity. The Wikipedia defines Integrity as "...a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods,
measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. The word "integrity"
stems from the Latin adjective
integer (whole, complete). In
this context, integrity is the inner sense of "wholeness" deriving from
qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such, one may
judge that others "have integrity" to the extent that they act
according to the values, beliefs and principles [promises] they claim to
hold.”
Some people try to avoid the pain of not fulfilling a promise, by
not making one in the first place. It would seem they have avoided
the pitfall of disappointing others; however failing to make a promise
likewise negates any chance of increasing your self-confidence. There is
no other way to build your self-confidence (self-trust, self-esteem and
self-respect) other than making promises that you fulfill.
The internal strength that comes from making promises you are
sure you can and will deliver on, develops a powerful reservoir of strength and commitment. It’s common problem for many who promise themselves,
‘I’ll start eating better tomorrow’... If they do follow through on this
promise, then their self-confidence grows and the new habit is easier to
maintain. If you make the same promise to yourself and fail to deliver,
then conversely your self-confidence is weakened your sense of self-trust will erode. Making more difficult to follow through in the future. We all do this sometimes…
Have you ever said to yourself, “I will pay Mum & Dad back that
$50”, and then completely forget about it… You tell your spouse, “I
will mow the lawn” but they end up hiring someone else to do it after 2
weeks, “I will pay off my credit card in 6 months”… gets side-tracked by
an impromptu vacation. When we follow through on a promise, we build and
strengthen our power, self-respect and self-belief. In short, we strengthen ourselves by, making promises we know we’ll keep; and
honoring every promise we make.
Steps to strengthen your ability to keep promises:
1) Be clear on what’s most important to you for each month
(week, day). Write down one clear priority every month (or more the
further along you get). Taking on too much is a sure fire way to weaken
your ability to follow through.
2) Get comfortable saying ‘No’… Most people don’t like declining
a request from another, we like to avoid the discomfort of saying ‘no’
and instead make an agreement that we sometimes fail to fulfill. Building your
comfort around saying ‘No’ helps you avoid the latter pain of letting
someone down.
3) Record what and who you have made promises to. Keeping a
record and following up with yourself, will help you stay focused and
support you to follow through.
4) When contemplating whether or not you will agree to a request
from another, be clear with yourself about how much it will cost you. What investment of
time, energy (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual), and
money will it take to deliver on this promise. Ask yourself if the outcome is worth committing yourself to?
5) Start keeping promises in just one area of your life (to start with). Te area where you want to see the
most improvement. E.G. Your finances, your romantic relationship, your
family life, your occupation etc.
How good are you at keeping promises?
Do you keep your promises to your family members
0 - Never 3 - Rarely 5 - Sometimes 10 - Often 15 - Most Times 20 - Always
Do you keep your promises to your employer?
0 - Never 3 - Rarely 5 - Sometimes 10 - Often 15 - Most Times 20 - Always
Do you keep your promises to yourself?
0 - Never 3 - Rarely 5 - Sometimes 10 - Often 15 - Most Times 20 - Always
Do you keep your promises to your partner/spouse/ best friend?
0 - Never 3 - Rarely 5 - Sometimes 10 - Often 15 - Most Times 20 - Always
Do you keep your promises with your friends?
0 - Never 3 - Rarely 5 - Sometimes 10 - Often 15 - Most Times 20 - Always
0-15: Integrity is not very important to you. You
have little regard for yourself and even less for those around you. You
don’t want to rely on you; you struggle to have hope in a brighter
future. You feel you have little power to create what you want, and you
don’t believe you can have what you want. No one has kept promises to
you, so you find it hard to care when others need to rely on you.
15-35: You struggle to follow through on your
promises. Most people around you wouldn’t choose to ask you for
anything, they know you don’t keep your promises. You pay the price of
valuing integrity low… Not getting promotions, struggling to keep
romantic relationships, and suffering financially. Take the time to ask
yourself, what do you really want in life? Maybe some things aren’t
important to you? Find something that is important to you, try and do
your best to follow through on your commitments in this one area, and
see what happens when you do.
35-65: You are able to commit and follow through
sometimes; but people can find you difficult to rely on. Everything can
seem to pile up on you at once and leave you unable to deliver on all of
the promises you make. Simplify your load and get more comfortable
saying “No”. Choose someone in your life who you want to be there for
100%; make it your priority to keep your commitments to that one person.
65-75: Integrity is important to you; you try your
best to keep your commitments. You’re not always able to deliver and
need to be clearer on your priorities. Your best of intentions fall flat
if you don’t follow through. Only make the commitments you know you
will follow through on; it’s ok to say ‘no’ to anything you think you
might not be able to fulfill.
85-100: You value integrity highly, you do your very
best to always deliver on the promises you make. You have moved
mountains in order to deliver on a commitment, and in turn you’ve seen
others stretch themselves to match your efforts. You know that the
strength of your integrity is your foundation for success in every area
of your life, and you honor it with your life.
