“There is nothing to fear but fear itself” Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

I always liked the sound of that quote… but for many years I couldn’t comprehend what it truly meant. I thought it just meant fear is nothing… and this quote does infer the nothingness of fear. However, while I could intellectually grasp the idea that fear is nothing, emotionally I was in the grips of my own fears every day.  I would still be left to either battle, manage or simply succumb to them. Each of these strategies was met with varying affects; anxiety, sadness, powerlessness, anger to say the least… More importantly it was the decisions I made in these states of mind that most concerned me: binge eating, or starving myself. I had already learned to lose weight and manage it sensibly years ago. The weight gaining effects of emotional eating was something I had also learned to manage.  But what I could no longer tolerate was, feeling like a victim. Feeling like I was at the mercy of my own emotions. I went through stages of hating my emotions, and wanting to block them out, to utterly falling into them and becoming lost for hours, neither to any avail or improve. I was subject to them, or so I thought I was. This internal restriction was so painful for me that I began to seek out information and ideas that could help change the situation.

The idea that I kept connecting with was ‘peace’; a sort of contentment with what is. For me the thought of being able to live in peace felt impossible yet incredibly desirable. To imagine that no matter what was happening around me, I was free to remain peaceful and calm inside. Could there be anything more valuable?

I didn’t personally know anyone who lived this way, however more and more authors and professionals began to stand out to me who openly spoke about surrendering, trusting and allowing. In the past all of these terms would send shivers down my spine, I abhorred the idea of letting go and felt I would fall into a pit, lose all control, be utterly vulnerable and exposed to even more volatility and trauma. (Yes I was a bit dramatic back then lol)

However I’ve come to realize that that’s the lie that prevents more people from accessing their own peaceful oasis inside. Letting go is deceptively simple, it’s not an intellectual release; it’s an emotional release. An act of surrendering to what is, and allowing it to unfold how it will; a belief that all will be well, and that everything is unfolding in perfect timing and order. The only time we are open to trail such a radical strategy like trusting and allowing is when the consequences of attempting to control life is creating more pain then it’s helping us avoid.

What have I learned about fear? I learned that there is nothing to fear except the feeling of fear… because that’s all it is.